Post new moon ritual detox
Sitting with the discomfort (just can’t take it but still here)
I reckon everyone thinks the spiritual practice is all suppose to make you feel better. Better as in like you feel getting a brand new Hermes bag with the excitement of first purchase. Oh so fresh, clean, & you hold it so proudly like brand spanking new. Well, it isn’t all that glamorous or nirvanna like. Remember our 4 Noble Truths People, suffering! I am having one of those moments or days like that! The most frustrating part is last night I had just finished a new moon ritual. I felt so drunk in bhakti(devotional love), new, relaxed, calm, centred & ready to share my love & creativity in the world! Then suddenly a rude awakening this morning, I was in deep mental & physical pain like I drank the night before and had a heavy hangover. So I quickly went into my 7am zoom yoga class without turning on the camera of course, looking a like a mess. After the practice, I meditated for 30 minutes and to no avail. I was sitting through a shit storm of negative thoughts on continuous heavy loop. It was like walking through a mop at Coachella trying to get to one set after another. Nobody is moving & you are just pushing through to stand or even breath! Except this time it’s inside my mind.
Admittedly, this year has been an upheaval for me with all the nonsense going in this world no traveling, no going out, & adjusting to so many new normals. Yep, you know the story because it’s happening to all of us. It’s been a hell of a year, the world has changed a lot and this is our new normal. Suddenly, an epiphany came to me. Isn’t it what spiritual & psychological methods I’ve been learning all about going to help with? Am I just intellectualizing this or practising? I’ve been re-reading Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach and last night I arrived at the chapter on Fear, “When we believe something is wrong with us, we are convinced we are in danger.”
I wonder when this fear began, to feel bad about myself or what it always there this voice of “no good” and battling for attention versus the higher self. This year the energetic field on Earth has been so negative. For practioners they must practice ardently and for other people who are just suffering, they too will have to adopt some stress reduction habits to get through this coming year. Our solution is also a sense of safety and belonging with others. Surprisingly our separation is causing us to suffer even more on heavy rotation. Creating a space for our negative energy to be healed in this world is what we’re lacking. This equanimous energy to hold space for our healing is the answer to our prayers. It’s been very hard to sit through a meditation without moving lately and it’s okay. I have to keep trying and putting in positive energy in this world and contributing love to this universe core to wholehearted living. We must reach out even when it’s difficult, even if we have differences, allow silence & divine guidance to lead the way.
Tonight, I pray for a miracle.
May we all feel each others pain, may evils of this universe be eradicated, may we have space to forgive, may we unite again as a whole. Let us practice self love and love others for they are our brothers and sisters no matter what the ideality. Let love rise and overflow our cups so it may run plentiful for others. Through forgiveness may we release ourselves and let the universe take care of the rest. Amen
I know, it’s so high ideas right now. It’s prayer though, so wish & you may just received?
